A Christmas in Connecticut Read online

  “Okay. Pie sounds good,” she sniffled.

  He took her hand in his as they walked out to his truck. Just that simple touch and connection to Jack’s body made her feel better.

  She slid into the booth at Jenny’s, the smell of home cooking and the sight of the fire going in the corner made her feel warm and a bit happier. They’d both ordered the clam chowder…it was warm and delicious. The homemade bread that accompanied it was soft and chewy. Claire loved being in Jack’s company. He was easy for her to talk to. He made her laugh, and he was sexy as hell. There was such an easy way about the two of them together. She had been climbing upwards once more, hopeful that all the gingerbread needed was a good cooling down.

  “Tell me, how big of a Sox fan are you?” Claire said. Their pies and coffee had just arrived.

  “So…this is where the real hiccup is…not the fact that you live three thousand miles away…but the fact that I’m a Sox fan.” Jack smiled before taking a bite of apple pie and ice cream.

  “A girl’s gotta have her priorities straight…I mean…c’mon, we’re talking baseball here.”

  “Well, I’m not as crazy as Hank is if that’s what you’re asking. But my dad and I would attend several Sox games a year together. It’s one of my fondest memories of him, and one thing I’m going to miss the most. I kind of can’t imagine heading to Fenway without him.”

  Claire reached across the table and placed a hand over his. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I know how hard that must be. It’s great though, that you have these memories of him…those special times will live forever in your heart.”

  He looked up; his blue eyes were damp. “Thank you, I know you get it.” He placed his other hand on hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. He took a bite of his pie and then looked up at her, his eyes twinkling. “So, to go back to your question…the Red Sox are my team…I’ve been attending games at Fenway since I could walk…I’ve taken the Fenway tour a dozen times and every time I see that red seat where in 1946 Ted Williams hit his 502-foot home run, I still get goosebumps.”

  “How amazing! I’m not a Sox fan, but that is baseball history.” Claire smiled at him. “I love baseball so much…to me spring equals baseball.”

  “I totally agree. Nothing better than baseball.” Jack took a sip of his coffee before continuing. “So, let’s pretend that if we were together—”

  Claire stopped mid-bite and raised an eyebrow at him.

  “—just pretending…and the Sox were facing the Dodgers in the World Series…I’d be all in on the Sox if that’s what you’re asking…that’s how big of a fan I am.”

  “Okay…that’s fair enough…but…what if…just pretending here,” she winked at Jack, “we were together, and the Dodgers were in the World Series, against any team except the Sox, who would you be pulling for?” She put her fork down as she waited for his reply.

  “Anybody but the Dodgers.”

  “What?!? Then I’d say you’re just as crazy as Hank. If the shoe were on the other foot, I’d be rooting for the Sox because you’d be rooting for the Sox. What do you say to that?”

  “I’d say you were a fair weathered Dodger fan,” he teased.

  “It’s a good thing this is just pretend, then.” And it is just pretend, Claire. But what about what Beth had said? Maybe it wasn’t pretend for Jack.

  “Yeah…good thing,” he replied, before taking another bite of pie. Claire thought she caught a brief look of sadness cross his face.

  They finished their pies and coffee and headed back to Beth’s. Claire hoped that the gingerbread was going to be okay. But after two hours of cooling, it hadn’t solidified and was far from being okay. It was a soft, doughy mess. She told Jack she had a headache and went home.

  She’d been on the couch with her eyes closed for the past hour. Emmy had taken Nona to a doctor’s appointment and would call her as soon as she was back. Claire felt like a failure and a fraud. She was afraid that if Jack discovered the truth about her, he’d no longer be interested, which was ironic because the only reason she’d put herself in this position in the first place, was because she wanted to be near him. She let out a big sigh.

  Chapter 13

  “Oooh…it smells so good in here…I know what you’re up to!” Beth walked excitedly into the kitchen as Jack was scraping the remains of the failed gingerbread into the trash.

  “Wait…what happened?” Beth looked around the room in puzzlement. “Where’s the gingerbread house?”

  “There isn’t one,” Jack said. He grabbed the second cookie sheet and shoveled its contents into the trash bin. “For some reason it didn’t come out right.”

  “Where’s Claire?” Beth still looked confused as she surveyed the mess in the kitchen.

  “Home.” He didn’t really feel like playing twenty questions with Beth. He had a few questions of his own. How much creative license are we talking about?

  “Is she coming back?”

  “Nope. Not tonight, at least. She’s got a headache. You should get back into bed. I’ll make tea for you, and I’ll make sure this is all cleaned up before I leave. When’s Tyler back?” He was trying his best to get her off the Claire topic.

  “He’s driving back tomorrow.” She still had a furrowed brow, and Jack could see her trying to make sense of the situation.

  “Did you tell him he’s helping me with the outdoor lights when he gets back?”

  Beth appeared to snap out of whatever thoughts had been bothering her. “Yeah, I told him. He said no problem…he’s grabbing some seafood to bring back…said he’s making his seafood stew. He wants you to stay for dinner, you guys can do the lights then.”

  “Great…sounds good.” Whenever Tyler was in Boston on business, he’d stop and get fresh seafood on his way back to River Falls, often making his signature stew with it.

  “Do you think Claire would like to come, too? I’m sure she would love to be part of the big moment when you turn the lights on,” Beth said.

  Jack had helped his dad put up Christmas lights whenever he was home from Afghanistan. When he wasn't around, Tyler had helped. His dad had tried stubbornly to do it himself, but after a small fall one year, he’d grudgingly conceded that maybe he shouldn’t be up on a ladder anymore. He’d always gone all out, covering nearly every square inch of the home’s roof with colorful lights. Their house had always been one of the most festive and brightly lit ones in the neighborhood. Jack was going to make sure it was every bit as nice this year.

  “Sure…I’ll ask her.” He shuttled Beth back to bed and made her a cup of tea before tackling the mess in the kitchen. Finally, he walked Archie, told Beth goodnight, and headed back to his house. His thoughts had been on Claire the entire time. He felt disappointed when she had left. They’d had such a nice dinner together, but when she saw the gingerbread, she looked completely defeated. She’d said she had a headache and abruptly left.

  Jack didn’t question that she wasn’t feeling well. But something felt off. It felt as if she wasn’t telling him something. He was beginning to have an idea what that something was, and frankly he didn’t care. He just wished she trusted him enough to confide in him. Despite this, he couldn’t get around the fact that she had stolen his heart, something that hadn’t happened since Tara. He not only found her sexy as hell, but adorable. They shared a common interest in their love of baseball. And she was sweet. He loved her stories about Ruthie. It was clear to him that she had a good heart, something that Jack valued greatly.

  Jack liked that he could open up to her about his dad. She’d been empathic and kind as she listened to him. In return, he’d listened to her. He never questioned her feelings; he’d only listened and offered support. He had a strong desire to protect and take care of her. Days were always brighter when she was around. All of this outweighed the questions that had arisen; whatever those were, they weren’t important to him. He risked the possibility that she’d return to L.A. and forget about him. He had to take that risk though. His heart had informed hi
m that there wasn’t any other option.

  And, their intimacy had only confirmed what his heart had begun to feel. He’d known he was in rare territory the minute he’d looked into her brown eyes while they were in bed together. That place in his heart that had been lost for many years had awoken. Jack wanted to be around her every day and every night. Every single solitary night…wrapped up in his arms. He knew. He just knew. She checked all his boxes. But how was he going to make it all work? He didn’t know. He was still working that out. But he knew he needed to work it out. He needed her.

  Claire reached for her buzzing phone.

  “Hi Emm…before I unload about my pit of despair…how’s Nona?”

  “Oh no…I’m guessing it didn’t go well with the gingerbread. Nona is fine…the doctor increased one of her medications. Hopefully they can get her blood pressure under better control. I took her out to lunch afterwards; we had a pleasant time.”

  “I’m glad she’s okay.”

  “Me too. Now tell me what happened to the gingerbread? Why didn’t you call me for help?”

  “It was going fine, that’s why…I had the shapes on the cookie sheets…they looked perfect, Emm…but, for some reason, they all melted into one giant pan of soft dough. I even let it cool off, hoping I could just cut the shapes out afterwards, but it was so crumbly that it was impossible. You should have seen the look on Jack’s face, Emm…he knows I’m a fraud, I am a fraud.” She began to chew on her bottom lip.

  “Everything will be okay. I wish I was there to help you.”

  “Me too,” Claire said. “Jack must know I’m not real. I’ve been dropping hints…and now this.”

  “Well…any number of things can go wrong when baking even to the best of us. If it was soft, it could have been too much baking powder…did you use just the one teaspoon, like the recipe says?”

  “I did.”

  “And you’re sure it was the teaspoon that you used…because it sounds like too much baking powder caused it to be soft.”

  “Uh huh, I remember only putting one in…the teaspoon’s the big one, right?”

  “Oh my god, no Claire…that’s the tablespoon…no wonder it didn’t turn out…you used three times the amount the recipe calls for. Okay…no worries, now you know what you did wrong…just make it again but use the small spoon next time.”

  “Honestly, Emm, I don’t have the energy or the time to do it again. Beth has a list a mile long of errands and projects she needs Jack and I to do.

  “Then just tell her something wasn’t right and tough luck on the gingerbread house.”

  “I don’t know…maybe I can try again…tomorrow. I’ll be back over there; we’re getting all the outdoor lights organized…I think Beth’s husband will be back from a business trip to help Jack put them up. Maybe while they’re doing that I can try again.” A small sliver of hope had re-lodged itself back into Claire’s heart. She desperately wanted to help Jack and Beth. Maybe I can do this after all.

  But what was this? Was it the whole Christmas thing? Or was it the entire relationship thing? Relationship? How would that even be possible? She needed to tell him…part of her needed to. Maybe Emmy was right…maybe it was other qualities that Jack found attractive. But it was the skills she pretended to have that brought them together in the first place. Was everything built on lies and falsehoods?

  She sighed as she settled onto the couch and re-read her gingerbread house blog.

  A Gingerbread Home for the Holidays

  When I was growing up, nothing said Christmas more than my mom’s annual tradition of building a beautiful gingerbread house. Every year she would create a charming home made of gingerbread, decorated with icing and candies. The house sat front and center on our entry hall table, greeting visitors with a very merry Christmas. It filled our home with the warm spiced scent of the season.

  Now, I can hear many of you saying, ‘there’s no way in *bleep* I can do that.’ I am here to say that you can! The steps for baking the pieces couldn’t be easier. I’ve attached a step-by-step set of instructions. Once the house is built, you can let your creative energy loose and decorate it to your heart’s desire, really no design or idea is off limits. Maybe try to replicate your family home or even build an alpine cottage. Get creative! There is a gingerbread house making goddess inside of you! Now get baking!

  Jack and Claire spent the next week working on various projects. Jack was happy to be distracted from the mess the hardware store was in financially; spending time with Claire was preferable to trying to figure out how to keep the store afloat.

  Jack and Tyler had tackled the outdoor lights. Claire was present to witness the final plug-in…it was a tradition his dad had begun; he would wait until after dinner before gathering everyone outside to watch as he turned the lights on. It put a smile on Jack’s face, having Claire there to share in the occasion. She made him feel hopeful that maybe Christmas wouldn’t be as rough as he’d expected it to be.

  Claire’s second attempt at the gingerbread house had been successful. At least she’d been able to bake the pieces properly. Jack would be lying if he didn’t admit that her skills at decorating the house weren’t quite up to par, but Jack’s skills in making birdhouses had come in handy and it had turned out not half bad. After an initial look of surprise, Beth had clapped at the sight of it, and pulled both Claire and Jack in for a big hug.

  In between all their projects and errands, he and Claire had carved out some time for themselves. Surprisingly, they hadn’t had snow yet this year, which was unusual…climate change in action evidently. Jack wanted to take Claire cross-country skiing, or snow shoeing, but without snow they’d settled for some hikes; the air was usually bitter cold, but the skies had been clear and blue. He’d enjoyed this time with her. She made him smile and laugh. There had been a lot of good-natured teasing about baseball; Claire was easy to be around. The chemistry between them had been the cherry on top. His heart was becoming more and more enamored with the adorable and sexy Claire.

  They’d been able to spend a few nights together over the past week. Each time they had been intimate, it felt as if they were being drawn closer together. Jack’s entire body desired to be with her as much as possible. They fit together perfectly and seemed in complete harmony, sexually. The connection between them had only grown stronger. Jack was doing his level best to put off thinking about what would happen once the holidays were over. He and Claire hadn’t spoken a word out loud about the issue, but it was clear, it was on each of their minds.

  Tomorrow, they were going to spend part of the day at Mason’s Turkey Farm. He’d thought he saw a bit of a freak-out cross Claire’s face when he first mentioned it, but she soon seemed calmer, saying she looked forward to taking some pictures for the blog. Masons would be perfect for that; it was complete with a red barn and everything.

  For now, he was stuck once again, trying to make sense of his dad’s bookkeeping methods. He was also turning over different ideas and ways to bring more business to the store. One option was to have an online presence, something his dad had waived away as “too high-tech and fancy,” but Jack was considering any and all options right now. Anything to hang on to the family business. For himself, Beth, and for the town. He just hoped it was possible.

  “It’s getting to be crunch time.” The worry on Emmy’s face was crystal clear, even over Claire’s small phone screen. “What’s your plan?”

  Claire had been agonizing over this herself. What was her plan? Jack had stolen her heart. She loved spending time with him, whether it was on one of their many hikes, running one of Beth’s endless errands, or when they were in each other’s arms having the best sex Claire had ever had. But where was this going? Christmas was just a few days away and yet she’d remained silent…keeping her secret to herself. That was just the first problem. She had agonized over how to come clean. She was wracked with guilt but ultimately felt that she was helping Jack and Beth; the time had never seemed right to say anything. The
other issue was how to make an L.A. to River Falls romance work. Could she leave L.A.?

  Putting aside the issue of her partnership with Emmy, Claire wasn’t sure she could imagine herself being a small-town girl. She’d lived in Los Angeles her entire life. Yes, the traffic was a major pain in the ass…yes, the smog was really awful some days…yes, the earthquakes, and the fires, and the droughts weren’t a lot of fun either, but it was L.A.; home to hundreds of different cultures, all coming together in one big and beautiful melting pot. As charming as River Falls was, and it was charming, and there was something about knowing everyone had your back if you needed help…but it was missing some of what she loved about Los Angeles. There were none of the shops run by new immigrants selling all kinds of wonderful and unique items, or the cultural festivals, and there weren’t the variety of ethnic foods Claire had grown up with. She realized each place had its own pros and cons, and maybe she could sacrifice these things for a life with Jack. This brought her full circle to square one: her business partner was three thousand miles away and she didn’t know how Jack would react to the real Claire.

  “Well? What’s your plan?” Emmy’s eyebrows rose as she waited for Claire to respond.

  “I have nothing, Emm…nothing. I have no idea what to do or how to make any of this work. And on top of that, I’m stressing over the whole turkey cooking thing. We’re going to a turkey farm tomorrow…which I guess will be kind of fun…I can get some pics, and now I’ll have really been to one, instead of just reading about it online. Maybe the opportunity to talk to Jack will present itself tomorrow. He said it’s about a thirty-minute drive. Maybe it’s time…I’m just frightened, Emm.” Claire felt the fear in her chest. It terrified her that her revelation might scare Jack away…she hadn’t been honest with him. How was he going to feel about that?